My eyes seemed glued-shut from my deep REM sleep just moments before, and my first instinct left me wishing I had a lock on my door. But the voice continued, softening my heart and opening my ears.
"Can I just tell you something?"
I remained "asleep," but listened intently to my six-year-old sister's whisper.
"I was sleeping and I had a bad dream last night...and I couldn't really see anything. And 'den I saw bright colors," she stammered. "And 'den I just heard this voice, and I thought it was mommy or daddy, so I tried to call to them...the voice said, 'Rissi. Rissi. I am here with you, don't be afraid.' And then this morning, I went downstairs and asked mommy and daddy why they had called me, and they said that they didn't. So, it was God!"
With that, my mind was wide awake, but my eyes were still heavy from the a late Friday night on the computer. Still, I felt that I story like that needed some sort of acknowledgement.
"That's great, baby," I whispered. "That's so cool."
Growing up with a six-year-old sister has often reminded me the wonders of a childlike faith and humbled me in learning from the young, innocent mind. With that being said, her anecdote was exactly what I needed to wake up to this morning, and it led me back to Psalms 91, which I had been reading a lot last week:
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD,
"He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
Last night, my dad (the God-given 24/7 counselor in my life...thank you ,dad!) and I were examining my schedule as we do about every month-and-a-half. Too often, my life gets dangerously too busy and jam-packed with activities, engagements, and promises that I am obligated to fulfill. It's around the fifth week of this (and these specifics aren't exact; I'm exaggerating to better explain the dilemma) that I begin to feel spiritually and emotionally drained, leaving me frustrated and trapped. As we sat in the living room last night, he asked me a startling question, which later led me to reflect on Psalms 91. He had asked what it was that drove me to do so many things, and left me with this analysis that left me awestruck at the accuracy and insight of my father, along with puzzled as to what to do next: "I believe you are driven by fear," he said.
"Fear of what?" I asked.
"Fear of disappointing God. Me. Yourself," he answered. Wow. Deep down within me, I knew he was right. My insecurity rooted in fear is expressed in a busy and overwhelmed schedule. I couldn't believe I had lived this many years with this root within me. Now, my thoughts lingered to wonder: how would one rid themselves of a fear as binding and controlling as mine?
The answer was found in Carissa's testimony this morning.
"I am with you. Don't be afraid," God had said to her.
In other words, God is revealing the truth that there is "nothing to fear when He is near." Absolutely nothing.
- Afraid of failure? - Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works IN all things for the good of those who love Him.
- Afraid of "losing God"? -Romans 8:35-39 reminds us that there is NOTHING that can separate us from God. He is always with us (see also Psalms 139:7-12).
- Afraid of mistakes? -Jesus died for us while we were still sinners, revealing his love for us in the midst of our mistakes! (Romans 5:8).
For now, let me leave you with this truth of God's love. It's by His love alone that our lives are changed, and specifically in mine, fear is removed. Look at 1 John 4:16-18:
16 "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him....18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."
Where else could one find perfect love, but in God, the creator of it? Know it more. Rely on it. Let's let that love be enough to drive out the fear binds us all!
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